By Janet Sutton

SAFE of Lenoir and Greene County is hosting a BINGO night fundraiser on Thursday, Oct. 17 from 5:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. at The Exchange at 121 West Gordon Street in Kinston. Tickets are $25 and include a chili dinner and 12 games. Bingo players will have the chance to win gift baskets, jewelry, college football tickets and other prizes. The fundraiser supports SAFE of Lenoir and Greene County which helps people who have experienced domestic violence.

Domestic violence is a cycle and pattern that can affect anyone at any time. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence says one in four women and one in seven men have been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. However, not all abuse is physical.

At SAFE of Lenoir County, Wakili Moye, Domestic Violence Coordinator, has assisted victims as young as 14 years old to those in their 60's who’ve experienced some form of domestic violence. The majority of incidents she's handled have been mental and emotional abuse involving women of color.

"Every situation is different,” Moye, said.

SAFE provides restraining orders, temporary shelter to women, children and men who have fled for their safety and resources for victims to get help.

"We offer support groups, which is empowerment,” Moye said. “We offer community education programs for prevention, court advocacy and referral information."

Domestic violence may include willful intimidation, battery, sexual violence, threats and control of one intimate partner over the other. It's not an easy process for victims who may be thinking about leaving an abusive relationship.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence says bringing an end to abuse is not a matter of the victim choosing to leave, it's a matter of the victim being able to safely escape their abuser, the abuser choosing to stop the abuse, and law enforcement courts holding the abuser accountable for the abuse they inflict.

"It's not going to happen all at once, there's not any magic solution for any one victim,” Sherry Honeycutt Everett, NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence Legal and Policy Director said.

"It takes a lot of planning and preparation and unfortunately not all victims have the resources and time to plan and prepare but the more that they can reach out to agencies like SAFE and advocates like Wakili the better the chances will be that when that time comes they will be prepared and able to safely leave," she said.

"And we're here for them," Moye added.

As part of Domestic Violence Awareness month, Honeycutt Everett held a domestic violence training workshop for Lenoir County law enforcement. She expressed the trauma and challenges that victims experience and the need for unity across all platforms.

"It's absolutely critical that community groups and organizations and law enforcement all work together on these types of problems," Honeycutt Everett said.

"We can't just look at this problem from only one angle, it truly takes wrap around support from the entire community to get these victims the services that they need in order to be able to leave and end an abusive relationship."

So many variables can determine what makes a victim decide to leave their abuser but SAFE is available to those who need them, they're open 7 days a week, 365 days a year.