Local restaurants are working with SAFE to generate funds for fighting domestic violence. During the week of Oct. 18 through Oct. 24, these restaurants will be displaying table tents that include information about SAFE and a QR code to allow patrons to make donations to our local domestic violence prevention program.

Thursday, Oct. 22, has been designated as Dine Out for DV Night. Participating restaurants will either donate a percentage of the proceeds from that evening or make a cash donation to SAFE.

Participating restaurants include Sugar Hill Pizzeria at 211 N. Herritage Street; The Mad Hatter on 212 W. North Street; Lovick’s Café on 320 N. Herritage Street; Queen Street Deli at 115 S. Queen Street; Smith’s Café at 2424 US 258; King’s Restaurant on US 70 at 405 E. New Bern Road; Fat Baby’s at 1215 Greene Haynes Road; and the Greene Street Diner on 213 N. Greene Street in Snow Hill.

SAFE in Lenoir County, Inc. is a 501c(3) non-profit organization established in 1985 to meet the critical needs of victims of domestic violence. SAFE serves victims in both Lenoir and Greene counties by providing a 24-hour crisis hotline, victim advocacy, an intervention program for batterers, community education and training, and empowerment classes for survivors of domestic violence.

Since opening its shelter doors, SAFE has grown substantially. Sadly, that growth reflects the growing problem of domestic violence. Statistics shared by the National Coalition against Domestic Violence (NCADV) are both startling and tragic.

On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States – more than 10 million women and men in a year. One in four women and one in nine men experience severe intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner contact sexual violence, and/or intimate partner stalking with impacts such as injury, fearfulness, post-traumatic stress disorder, use of victim services, or contraction of sexually transmitted diseases.

When four women are together, odds are one of them has suffered domestic violence. If 10 men are playing a pick-up game of basketball, odds are good that one of them has been a victim of domestic violence.

One in three women and one in four men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner. These behaviors range from slapping to shoving to pushing. One in seven women and one in 25 men have been injured by an intimate partner, according to the NCADV. One in 10 women has been raped by an intimate partner. Data is unavailable on male victims.

Each day domestic violence hotlines receive an average of 20,000 calls. One child in 15 is exposed to domestic violence. Of the children exposed,  90 percent have become eye witnesses to the violence.

In North Carolina as a whole, the statistics are even worse than national averages. In this state, 43.9 percent of women and 19.3 percent of men experience intimate partner physical

violence, intimate partner sexual violence, and/or intimate partner stalking during the course of their lifetimes.

In 2013, 108 domestic violence-related homicides occurred in North Carolina. That same year, more than 75 percent of the perpetrators of domestic violence-related homicides were male.

In August 2020 right here in Lenoir County, five victims of domestic violence received 69 nights of shelter from SAFE. The crisis hotline received 54 calls from victims in Lenoir County and six calls from victims in Greene County – a total of 60 calls during that one month.

During August SAFE advocates helped victims procure 22 domestic violence protective orders in the two counties, and advocates accompanied victims to 63 court appearances.

The problem is real. Part of the solution is to help victims understand they do not have to tolerate abusive behavior. The other part of the solution is for compassionate people to reach out to victims and urge them to get the help they need to escape the situation.

Please help SAFE continue its work by enjoying a meal at a participating restaurant– and striking a blow against domestic violence.

Mike Parker is a columnist for the Neuse News. You can reach him at mparker16@gmail.com .