Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday that celebrates the harvest and the blessings of the past year. It is a time for families and friends to gather together, share a feast, express gratitude, and enjoy each other’s company. However, it can also be a time for stress, confusion, and conflict, especially if you are not prepared or experienced. That is why I have compiled a list of Thanksgiving FAQs with their answers, to help you navigate the challenges and opportunities of this special occasion. Whether you need some tips on how to cook a turkey, how to avoid political arguments, how to deal with your ex, or how to spice up your Thanksgiving, I’ve have got you covered. Read on and have a happy and hilarious Thanksgiving!

Q: How do I cook a turkey?

A: First, you need to buy a turkey from the store. Then, you need to thaw it, season it, stuff it, and roast it in the oven for several hours. Alternatively, you can order a pre-cooked turkey from a restaurant or a catering service and save yourself some time and hassle. Sliced turkey from the deli is pretty good too.

Q: How do I avoid political arguments with my relatives?

A: There is no foolproof way to avoid political arguments with your relatives, especially during Thanksgiving. However, some possible strategies are: changing the subject, avoiding controversial topics, agreeing to disagree, or excusing yourself from the conversation. You can also try to focus on the things you have in common, such as your love for each other and for the food. Nothing in politics is worth your indigestion.

Q: How do I deal with my annoying uncle who always makes inappropriate jokes?

A: Your annoying uncle who always makes inappropriate jokes is probably trying to get a reaction from you or to lighten the mood. You can choose to ignore him, laugh it off, or politely ask him to stop. You can also try to steer the conversation to something more positive or interesting or to distract him with a different activity, such as watching a movie or playing a game. If that doesn’t work, a good food accident will usually redirect verbal traffic.

Q: How do I make the perfect pumpkin pie?

A: The perfect pumpkin pie is a matter of personal preference, but some general tips are: use fresh or canned pumpkin puree, not pumpkin pie filling; add enough spices, such as cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and cloves; use a flaky and buttery crust, or a graham cracker crust for a crunchier texture; bake the pie until the filling is set, but not overcooked; and serve it with whipped cream or ice cream. Just like writing a bestseller, the key is in the details.

Q: How do I survive Black Friday shopping?

A: Black Friday shopping can be a stressful and chaotic experience, but it can also be a fun and rewarding one if you plan ahead and follow some simple rules. Some of them are: make a list of what you want to buy and where to find it; compare prices online and look for coupons and deals; set a budget and stick to it; wear comfortable clothes and shoes; bring a friend or a family member for support and safety; and be polite and patient with other shoppers and store employees. Remember, it's a shopping marathon, not a sprint.

Q: How do I explain Thanksgiving to my foreign friends?

A: Thanksgiving is a national holiday in the United States and Canada that celebrates the harvest and the blessings of the past year. It is traditionally observed on the fourth Thursday of November in the US and the second Monday of October in Canada. It is a time for families and friends to gather together, share a feast, express gratitude, and enjoy each other’s company. Some of the common foods served on Thanksgiving are turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, corn, pumpkin pie, and apple pie. Some of the common activities on Thanksgiving are watching parades, football games, and movies, playing games, and volunteering for charity. Because nothing says "Thanksgiving" like a turkey wearing a pilgrim hat.

Q: How do I make my vegan cousin feel welcome at Thanksgiving?

A: If you have a vegan cousin who is coming to Thanksgiving, you can make them feel welcome by preparing some vegan dishes for them, or by asking them to bring their own favorite vegan dishes to share. You can also make sure that there are some vegan options for appetizers, desserts, and drinks. You can also avoid making jokes or comments about their dietary choices, and respect their reasons for being vegan. Remember, a well-fed vegan is a happy vegan who may refrain from trying to convert you.

Q: How do I get out of Thanksgiving dinner with my in-laws?

A: If you want to get out of Thanksgiving dinner with your in-laws, you have a few options. You can try to make other plans, such as traveling, working, or visiting your own family. You can also try to make an excuse, such as being sick, having an emergency, or having a conflict. However, be aware that these options may have consequences, such as hurting your in-laws’ feelings, damaging your relationship with your spouse, or missing out on a potentially enjoyable occasion. Honesty is the best policy, but a well-crafted excuse is a close second.

Q: How do I cope with the stress of hosting Thanksgiving?

A: Hosting Thanksgiving can be a stressful task, but it can also be a rewarding one if you manage it well. Some ways to cope with the stress of hosting Thanksgiving are: asking for help from your guests, such as bringing a dish, setting the table, or cleaning up; making a checklist of what you need to do and when; preparing some dishes ahead of time and freezing or refrigerating them; delegating some tasks to your family members, such as shopping, decorating, or entertaining the kids; and taking some time for yourself, such as meditating, relaxing, or enjoying a glass of wine. Even the most chaotic Thanksgiving can be a great story to tell later.

Q: How do I make my kids behave at Thanksgiving?

A: Making your kids behave at Thanksgiving can be a challenge, but it can also be an opportunity to teach them some manners and values. Some ways to make your kids behave at Thanksgiving are: setting some ground rules and expectations before the event, such as no running, shouting, or fighting; rewarding them for good behavior, such as praising them, giving them a treat, or letting them play with a toy; correcting them for bad behavior, such as warning them, taking them aside, or giving them a time-out; and involving them in the celebration, such as letting them help with the cooking, the decorating, or the serving. Think of it as a mini-bootcamp for holiday etiquette.

Q: How do I avoid overeating at Thanksgiving?

A: Overeating at Thanksgiving can be tempting, but it can also be unhealthy and uncomfortable. Some ways to avoid overeating at Thanksgiving are: eating a healthy breakfast and a light lunch before the feast; drinking plenty of water and limiting your alcohol intake; using a smaller plate and filling it with more vegetables and lean protein than carbs and fats; eating slowly and savoring each bite; stopping when you are full and not feeling pressured to finish everything on your plate; and skipping or limiting your dessert, or choosing a fruit-based or low-calorie option. Despite what your mother told you during your teenage years, your stomach is not a bottomless pit, even on Thanksgiving.

Q: How do I deal with my ex who is coming to Thanksgiving?

A: If you have to deal with your ex who is coming to Thanksgiving, you have a few choices. You can try to be civil and polite, and treat them like any other guest. You can also try to avoid them as much as possible, and focus on the other people and activities. You can also try to bring a date or a friend, and show them that you have moved on. However, you should also be prepared for some awkwardness, tension, or drama, and have a plan to handle it, such as excusing yourself, changing the topic, or leaving early. Thanksgiving is about gratitude, not grudges.

Q: How do I show my gratitude at Thanksgiving?

A: Showing your gratitude at Thanksgiving is a great way to celebrate the spirit of the holiday and to make yourself and others happy. Some ways to show your gratitude at Thanksgiving are: saying thank you to your host and to anyone who helped with the preparation; expressing your appreciation to your family and friends for their love and support; writing a thank-you note or a card to someone who made a difference in your life; making a donation or volunteering for a cause that you care about; or simply reflecting on the good things that happened to you in the past year and feeling grateful for them.

Q: How do I spice up my Thanksgiving?

A: If you want to spice up your Thanksgiving, you can try to do something different or creative, such as: trying a new recipe or a new cuisine for your Thanksgiving menu; adding some fun games or activities to your Thanksgiving agenda, such as trivia, charades, or bingo; inviting some new or unexpected guests to your Thanksgiving dinner, such as a neighbor, a coworker, or a stranger; or going on an adventure or a trip for your Thanksgiving break, such as camping, skiing, or visiting a new place. Because sometimes, a little spice is all you need to turn a regular Thanksgiving into an unforgettable feast.