Last year, Sandra and I celebrated our Golden Anniversary. The next day, we started on the path that would take us to number 51. If we both live until Saturday, we should achieve that goal.

We had a particular reason for setting our wedding date for Feb. 18. First, Granny, my dad’s mother, was born on Feb. 22. She was a special lady to Sandra and me. Then, my dad and mom decided they would get married on her birthday, so they married each other on Feb. 22 to honor Granny.

Sandra and I wanted to follow suit, The problem was that Feb. 22 fell on a Tuesday, and we wanted to tie our knot on a Friday evening. So, we picked the Friday closest to Feb. 22, which was Feb. 18. Did you know that our 50th anniversary also fell on Friday, Feb. 18, 2022?

Through the years, we have weathered a host of storms. We have dealt with having, providing for, and raising four children to adulthood. We are proud of each of our children. They are all making their marks in their respective fields.

Sandra and I have worshipped, prayed, and tried to live according to the most insightful instructions on love – 1 Corinthians 13. In writing to his Corinthian problem children, Paul felt the need to educate them about the importance of love and how to live in loving relationships.

Generally, when a couple hits the magical 50-mark, people ask them how they have been able to stay together for so long. One obvious answer is you must first live long enough to be married 50 years.

But certain principles and behaviors also enter into the picture. Paul told the Corinthians displays of eloquence, knowledge, and compassion mean nothing if love does not underlie the behaviors.

Then Paul outlines the traits of genuine love. First, love “suffereth long.” In today’s language, those words carry the idea that love is patient and has endurance. Second, love is kind. Imagine the times we treat those closest to us rudely, in ways we would never treat someone outside our marriage or our family.

Charity does not envy. Love does not boast and does not swell with pride. Love does not dishonor others. Love is not self-seeking; it does not put itself first. Love is not easily angered. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

Imagine for a moment how marriages would fundamentally change if people understood the traits of genuine love and practiced those traits. Imagine what would happen in the lives of children if parents took these traits to heart. Imagine how churches would be reformed and experience revival if church members truly loved each other.

Then Paul adds this clincher – Love Never Fails.

Although most of us spend our time building a legacy, an empire, a business, or some other exploit in this world, we often neglect the essential elements of our lives – the elements that bring us true fulfillment.

“And now abides faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love,” Paul writes at the end of this chapter.

Marriages that last through decades generally come to understand and practice the nature of genuine love. In marriages that fall apart, at least one person forgets to be loving and replaces love with behavior centered on self.

Regardless of how long we have been married, I doubt that any of us can live out the ideal of love perfectly, but those who set the type of selfless love Paul discusses as their goal and practice will thrive in marriage more than those who place themselves first.          

Mike Parker is a columnist for the Neuse News. You can reach him at mparker16@gmail.com.