Reece Gardner: Let's not be so serious this week
With all the news concerning the ups and downs in the news of the day, I just want to take a moment to talk about things that might amuse us. Among those things is this account of Mildred Contreras' remarks to an audience of men about why she felt men are just happier people.
Here is a portion of what she said: Men are just happier people — what do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put; the garage is all yours; wedding plans take care of themselves; you never have to worry about getting pregnant; car mechanics tell you the truth; the world is your urinal; people never stare at your chest when you're talking to them; phone conversations are usually over in 30 seconds; a five-day vacation requires only one suitcase; if someone forgets to invite you to an event, he or she can still be your friend; three pairs of shoes are more than enough; you can do your part of the Christmas shopping in one day; if Laura, Kate and Sarah go out to lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah; if Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wildman.
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though the total bill is somewhat less than that, and none will actually admit that they want change back; when Laura, Kate and Sarah get their bill, out come the calculators; a woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, and get the mail; a man MAY dress up for weddings and funerals.
Mildred makes some very interesting points here, but from my perspective I just want to say: THANK GOD for WOMEN of this world. You make it all worthwhile! You truly light up our lives.
And now for a little play on words:
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes
A great name for a new country song: If I'd shot you sooner, I'd be out of jail by now
It's always darkest just before the dawn, so if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it
He who believes the past cannot be changed has not yet written his memoirs
I will continue in a humorous way by closing with this thought: May those who love us, love us and those who do not love us, may God turn their hearts, and if He cannot turn their hearts may he turn their ankles, that we may know them by their limping.
May the Good Lord bless you on this day and forever more!
