Reece Gardner: Don't Criticize, Condemn, or Complain
In last week's Column I talked about commitments made by a class in Roanoke Rapids to go out and live with enthusiasm in a specific area of their lives and then to come back and report on the experience. It was GREAT!
Today, I want to go back to a class in Goldsboro in which that class made commitments to live one or more of the Carnegie Human Relations Principals and then report on what happened. R. G. Smith stood before the class that night and vowed to live the Principal, "Don't Criticize, Condemn, or Complain."
A few of his associates were also in that class and it was obvious that some of them doubted that he could do that. He noticed their reactions, and said he certainly understood why they would be doubtful since he had been "one of the most negative people in the world," but that, he said, "Was about to change."
When the session came up the following week in which each person would tell about the results of having lived one of the principals, R.G. stepped before the class and said, "You will remember that I made a commitment last week to no longer criticize, condemn or complain. It has been one of the most difficult things I have ever done."
He paused, then continued, "My wife and I had long considered buying a riding lawn mower to use on our farm in Dudley, and we finally made the decision to do so.
On this past Saturday we rode up into that yard at Sears and they rolled out our beautiful red riding lawn mower, and placed it in my pickup truck and we were on our way home.
"I was a happy man. Then, we heard thunder, then we saw lightening, and the rain began to come down in torrents. My first reaction was to shout negatives about our plight, but instead I remarked to my wife that the rain really was needed and we could be thankful for it. My wife was shocked at my positive reaction, but agreed with me."
The rain continued through the afternoon and into the night, but I never once complained about it. Then yesterday I made arrangements to get off early from work and get home to my mower.
As I rounded the curve toward my home, I noticed something red turned over in the ditch.. "I convinced myself that surely that could not be my mower. I pulled to a stop and surely enough there, turned over on its side, was my mower.. I was furious. I slammed down on my accelerator, roared into my yard, slammed the door to my truck, and angrily headed toward the door to my home.
"Then I remembered, 'Don't CCC.' "My wife met me at the door. Tears were streaming down her face. I asked her what was wrong, and she proceeded to hesitantly tell me that she had had a bad day. I asked her if she was OK, and she said "Yes," but she had had a bad day. She then told me about how she just couldn't wait to try out our new mower, had lost control of it, and it was turned over in the ditch.
"I told her that that was no problem, and that we could take care of it. I Thought she was going to faint, but when she finally recovered, she asked if that was all I had to say.
"I told her that, no, I had one more thing to say, and that was to tell her that I was so sorry she had a bad day. She hugged me like she hadn't hugged me in years."
R.G. then looked squarely at the audience and said, "Do you realize that I could have let a $1400 red riding lawn mower take precedence over a multi-million dollar wife, and that a week ago I would have done so?"
Folks, things don't really matter that much - people do. And I am convinced that if we are conscious on our last day on this earth, our last conscious thoughts are not going to be about how many mowers we've owned, or how many houses we've lived in, or how many promotions we've gotten, or how many trips we've taken. Our last conscious thoughts are going to be about how much we have loved and been loved in return.
HAVE A WONDROUS DAY!
