Kristy Kelly: I could be a little nicer
As we celebrate the Fourth of July, I am reminded of the power of community and the strength we find in each other, much like the unity and resilience that built this nation.
One of the women I admire, at an event we were both attending, took a few moments to tell me how much she enjoyed reading these columns. My writer’s heart explodes with joy every time I hear, or read, those words. Then she proceeded to say I am much too hard on myself. She’s not wrong. I tend to underemphasize my accomplishments, almost as if expressing too much pride might jinx them. Professional confidence is relatively new to me. If I’m being honest with myself, any confidence is relatively new to me.
The Kinston Transformation
The difference in my confidence today starts and ends with Kinston. Had I never moved here, I wouldn’t have learned about writing local news. If I moved away after that first year, which was the original goal, I wouldn’t have learned the value of a community or why being in one was important.
Professional Setbacks and Resilience
I managed an online gambling website for about eight years when my kids were little. One day I logged in to the website only to find the FBI had closed it for online gambling. I didn’t dwell on it; I went out and got another job.
The new job was at a call center where I went from agent to team leader, to operations manager relatively quickly. When my position was absorbed by the corporate machine, I just accepted a demotion based on tenure, even though my production numbers were the best on the project. Instead of outrage, or even a healthy dose of irritation, I consoled the person delivering the news of my demotion.
My next job was in a store my fiancé’s family owned. Within a year the store closed. As luck would have it, I met someone who needed an assistant but then the pandemic hit. My life unraveled and what little confidence I had faltered.
Overcoming a Poverty Mindset
No matter how many good things happen to me, the reality of how easy it is to lose everything is something I’m far too familiar with. It’s a poverty mindset that I have yet to move on from. Even when things are going well, I’m planning for them to fall apart.
The Impact of Community
It’s the people of this community that made the difference in my life. This place is more than a dot on a map, or a soundbite on local cable news. It is a living, breathing entity with the will of 18,000 people determined to move forward. As time went on, the articles I wrote went from the viewpoint of a casual observer to one with vested interest. Casual acquaintances turned into friends, who became family.
This community invested in me through people who cared enough to allow me to heal, to grow, and to become the person I am today. While I may never scream my achievements from a rooftop, I will work on being nicer to myself.
Writing may have saved my sanity, but Kinston saved me.
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