Mike Parker: Kicking off the school year right

Most who have read my columns through the years know I am a retired high school English teacher. I spent 37½ years in the classroom, so I consider myself somewhat of an authority on what parents need to do to help their children succeed in school. In addition, I have four adult children, all college graduates, who have become productive citizens. They work, raise families, pay mortgages, and do a good job “adulting.”

Since a new school year has just started, I want to share some tips with parents to help them help their children do well in academic endeavors.

Tip #1: Let your child know you value education.

Nothing undermines a child’s will to succeed more than parents who look at education as some sort of unnecessary frill. How can parents show they value education? First, take an interest in what your child is learning in school. Do NOT ask a question like, “How was your day?” Be specific. I used to go subject by subject, saying, “Tell me what you learned today in math?” or “What did you study in ELA [language arts]?” or social studies or science. Expect a sensible answer.

One of my tykes once responded when I asked, “What did you learn today?” with a single word: “Nothing.” I pretended to become outraged. I grabbed the phone book.

“I am going to call that teacher and fuss her out for wasting your time and not teaching you anything.” The child froze in fear.

“No, daddy! Please don’t call.” Then she spouted out a list of things her teacher had touched on in class.

Another way to show you value education is by insisting on helping your child with homework. Again, do not be lazy or gullible. If your child answers, “We did not have any homework,” be suspicious. Almost all children have homework every day. Also, do not fall for “I did it at school.” Demand to see the written product of their assignments.

If the child breaks out the homework folder, then help the child with the assignments – but do not do the work for the child. Your job is to be a support – not a sucker. Assisting with homework does two things. First: you can help your child understand the material and the expectations. Second, when you help with homework, you can see the progress the child – and the teacher – is making on the journey through the curriculum.

Tip #2: Keep the lines of communication open.

An essential part of parenting is keeping open communication with the child’s teachers. Teachers are not omniscient, nor are they mind-readers. If your child is going through a rough spell, let the teachers know. Teachers can help form a support system when the child is at school.

During my son’s junior year in high school, our family suffered a huge blow. My wife was diagnosed with Stage 3-B cancer. She had a long road of treatment ahead of her that included chemotherapy, surgery, high-dose chemotherapy with stem cell replacement, and 33 radiation treatments.

 We arranged a meeting with Michael’s teachers. He was present. I do not believe a high school student should be excluded from a conference that concerns him or her. His teachers were incredibly supportive. They told us they were available for him whenever he needed them. The teachers assured Sandra and me that if they saw changes in him, they would let us know.

Let teachers know about challenges that affect the family, such as a change of jobs, a divorce, or the death of a family member. The result could produce serious changes in behavior. No matter how parents may try to shield their children from the pressures these changes bring, children still perceive them.

Tip #3: Read with your child daily.

If your children are in the early grades, then read with them. Read – read – read. Few academic tasks help develop a child’s intellect like reading. Spend at least some time every day reading with your child.

Tip #4: Make sure your child gets plenty of sleep.

One of the keys to helping kids fall asleep is to set a time when all screens must be turned off. The glow from televisions, tablets, iPads, and computers stimulates a child’s brain. Make sure these stimulants on steroids are off – and stay off. At my house, bedtime is 9:30 p.m. when the grandkids visit – whether in school or out of school. I am sure you will not be surprised to learn that they awaken the following morning alert and well-rested.

Education is a team effort that includes the student, the teacher(s), and the parents. As with any team, communication is crucial. Expectations are crucial. Students need to understand their teachers and parents are working from the same playbook. Students need to get with the program.

Mike Parker is a columnist for Neuse News. You can reach him at mparker16@gmail.com.