Mike Parker: Parents and teachers need to form a partnership
Much of my family has been involved in education. My wife Sandra and I were both teachers at one point. I have five others in my family who began their careers in education in the classroom. The conversations around our dinner tables often turns to educational needs.
As this new school year begins, I want to address a group of people who have way more influence on the education of children than they think they have – parents. Several years ago, I read an article from the NEA’s Family-School-Community Partnership Training that outlined “Ten Things That Teachers Want Parents to Do.” This wish list deserves repeating.
Teachers wish, first and foremost, that parents would “be involved in their children’s education.” The right kind of parental involvement helps students learn, improves schools, and makes the jobs of teachers much easier. The right kind of involvement helps the adults in the educational process present a united front.
Sadly, too many parents have the attitude that “education” is something schools and teachers do. My parents were involved in my education – to the point of aggravation. Mom and Dad read my papers, judging neatness, as well as grammar and content. They audited math homework with the precision of a CPA. Their “involvement” was annoying to my childish mind. As I matured, I realized how fortunate I was.
Often teachers make repeated calls to homes to plead for assistance. Some parents turn deaf ears to discipline problems and display a “not involved” attitude toward academics. What message does that send to their children?
The next two wishes are related. Wish No. 2: Teachers wish parents would “provide resources at home for reading and learning.” Parents should have books and magazines for their children. Parents should read to, or with, their children daily.
Wish No. 3: “Set a good example. Parents would show their children that they [the parents] believe reading is enjoyable and useful. They shouldn’t spend all their time in front of the TV, either.”
We cannot have a literate population if we do not practice literacy. Parents are powerful role models. When children never see their parents read, that parental behavior sends this message: Reading is not important.
If you feel uncomfortable with reading, then take advantage of programs to improve your reading skills. If you will not improve your literacy for yourself, do it for the sake of your children. Also, do not forget an important literacy resource – the public library.
Wish No. 4: “Encourage children to do their best in school.”
Our society seems satisfied with mediocrity instead of focusing on the pursuit of excellence. A parent who is happy with “passing” grades when a child can clearly do better belittles and shortchanges that child.
Wish No. 5: “Emphasize academics. Too many parents get caught up in athletics and in preparing their children for the world of work, when academics should be their first concern.”
We have too many students coming from homes that teach through silence that strong academic performance will turn these kids into “nerds” and reduce overall “coolness.” I call this the “It’s Cool to be a Fool” school of thought. Why can’t a student can’t average 17 points per game and also average 97 in chemistry or English or math?
Teachers also wish parents would:
No. 6: “Support school rules and goals.”
Rules exist to provide structure and stability. Parents should be familiar with the rules – and reinforce them at home. Do you have any idea how much class time ends up wasted because of classroom discipline issues?
No. 7: “Use pressure positively.”
Our brains seem programmed to notice the negative. We easily see a child’s weakness or misbehavior but often overlook their strengths and positive performance. When was the last time you praised your child?
I do not believe in empty praise – despite our “everyone gets a trophy” mentality. However, most children do things and demonstrate abilities that merit praise. Do you give that praise?
No. 8: “Call teachers early if there is a problem (not wait for teachers to call them), so there is still time to improve the situation.”
No. 9: “Accept their responsibility as parents and not expect the school and teachers to take over this job. For example, parents should make it their responsibility to teach children basic discipline at home rather than leave this task to teachers.” “Discipline” in this context includes self-control, manners, courtesy, and respect for others. “Discipline” also means accepting responsibility.
No. 10: “View drinking by underage youth and excessive partying as a serious matter, not a joke. Drinking, partying, and staying out late takes a toll on students’ classroom performance. While parents are concerned about drug abuse, many fail to recognize that alcohol is the drug most frequently abused by youngsters as well as adults.”
As the new school year begins, a genuine partnership between teachers and parents would go a long ways toward improving the education of our children.
Mike Parent is a columnist for the Neuse News. You can reach him at mparker16@gmail.com.
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