Mike Parker: Celebrating our 53rd anniversary
Three years ago, Sandra and I celebrated our Golden Anniversary. After tomorrow – February 18 – we will start plodding toward 54.
We had two reasons for choosing February 18. First, Granny, my dad’s mother, was born on February 22. She was a special lady to Sandra and me. My dad and mom decided to get married on Granny’ birthday, so they married each other at the Pearisburg, Va., courthouse on Feb. 22 to honor Granny.
Sandra and I wanted to follow suit, but February 22, 1972, fell on a Tuesday, so we decided to exchange our vows the Friday evening closest to February 22. February 18 won. Our 50th anniversary also fell on a Friday in 2022.
Through the years, Sandra and I have weathered a host of storms. We had children and provided for them until they were adults. We are proud of each of our children. They are all making their marks in their respective fields.
We have endured health challenges, including cancer. We have dealt with the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat in the workplace.
Amid all the ups and downs, Sandra and I have worshipped, prayed, and tried to live according to the most insightful instructions on love – 1 Corinthians 13. In writing to his problem children in Corinth, Paul felt the need to educate them about the importance of love and loving relationships.
Generally, when a couple hits the magical 50th anniversary, people ask how they have been able to stay together for so long. The obvious answer is you must first live long enough to be married for 50 years.
But certain principles and behaviors enter the picture. Paul told the Corinthians that displays of eloquence, knowledge, and sacrifice mean nothing if love does not underpin those behaviors.
Paul then outlines the traits of genuine love. First, love “suffereth long.” In today’s language, those words carry the idea that love is patient and has endurance. Second, love is kind. Imagine the times when we treat those closest to us rudely or in ways we would never treat someone outside our family.
Love is not envious, nor does love brag and swell with pride. Love does not dishonor others. Love is not self-seeking. Love does not put itself first. Love is not easily angered. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.
Imagine how marriages would fundamentally change if people understood and practiced the traits of genuine love. Imagine what would happen in the lives of children if parents took these traits to heart. Imagine how churches would be reformed and experience revival if church members truly loved each other.
Then Paul adds this clincher – Love Never Fails.
Although most of us spend our time trying to build a legacy, an empire, a business, or some other exploit in this world, we often neglect the essential elements of our lives – the elements that bring us true fulfillment.
“And now abides faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love,” Paul writes at the end of this chapter.
Marriages that last through decades generally come to understand and practice the nature of genuine love. When marriages fall apart, at least one person has forgotten to be loving and lives centered on self.
Regardless of how long we have been married, I doubt that any of us can live out the ideal of love perfectly, but those who set the type of selfless love Paul discusses as their goal and practice will thrive in marriage more than those who place themselves first.
Mike Parker is a columnist for the Neuse News. You can reach him at mparker16@gmail.com.
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