Mike Parker: Experiencing home-front fall-out of the Coronavirus

Laney and her brother Luke stand near Papa Parker's front door for their "growth" photo.

For the past week, Sandra and I have experienced some of the fall-out from decisions made regarding the coronavirus. The chief decision impacting us revolves around school closings. I am fortunate that all my children and their spouses have jobs. Years ago, we used to talk about two-car families in hushed tones bordering amazement.

Today, we could just as easily talk about “two income homes.” I am not sure “hushed amazement” describes this situation. Perhaps “necessary evil” is a better descriptor. When Mom and Dad have to go to work, then schools become the prime child care providers. So what happens when schools close? The scramble begins – the quest for childcare.

Sandra and I reviewed the situation of our children and their families and saw a glaring hole in coverage. I have one daughter who is a nurse – but her husband is an educator whose parents live not too far from them. Ben and Alli – covered. Daughter Rachel and her husband Joe are educators, so once things settle a bit, their girls, Abby and Hannah, are covered. Son Michael and Pam are both educators, so their schedules allow flexibility for their two boys, Isaiah and Alex.

Daughter Lydia and Brent have a different situation. They both work in the printing industry. Unlike Sandra and me, Brent’s parents still work. So Sandra and I volunteered to let Luke and Laney stay with us. Lydia and Brent brought them Sunday, March 15, and picked them up Friday, March 20. The experience has been an education – or at least, a re-education.

Lesson One: Kids are constant.

From early in the morning until bed time, kids require care and supervision. From feeding to card games to feeding to TV watching to feeding to constant chatter to feeding – kids are ever present, in the moment – every moment. Luke and Laney are well-behaved, but they are kids, and kids create a system that demands constant input of our energy.

Lesson Two: Kids Are Noisy.

Now, they do not mean to be noisy. They just can’t help themselves. Did I mention the constant chatter? Our home without children is quiet and peaceful. Tranquil is a good word to describe the atmosphere at our house. When any of the younger kids come, the noise starts early in the morning and does not end until sleep is able to drag the little ones into unconsciousness.

Lesson Three: Kids Eat – Constantly.

My two champion eaters have to be Allison and Alex. Anytime I bring Allison home after breakfasting at Smith’s, she walks into the house and, in all seriousness, announces she is ready for Breakfast Number 2. Breakfast Two is followed by Snack, then Lunch 1 and Lunch 2 and snack and Dinner and Snack. Wedged between these bouts of eating are usually cookies or popsicles.

Alex does not eat as often, but what he lacks in frequency, he makes up for in sheer volume.

Laney has decided she wants to challenge Allison for the “Hog-Gut” title. She takes pride in finishing a Smith’s Café hub-cap sized pancake and the accompanying bacon. One morning, she even took my grilled biscuit and downed it. Luke is an eating slacker compared to these three.

When Lydia and Brent dropped the kids off, they went to Wally World to equip us with snacks they know the kids like. I was shocked to see the three bags they brought in. Cuties, bananas, assorted Little Bites, Cheese Its, and Little Debbie Cakes. Plus, they brought a half gallon of milk. Luke was excited Monday when I stopped by the store and bought a family-sized box of Fruit Loops. He ate so many Fruit Loops when he stayed with us once that I called him Fruit Luke.

According to Laney, she and Luke had agreed on swapping places each night. Usually, Luke sleeps up front with me on our other couch, and Laney sleeps with MeMaw – aka, Grandma Sandra. Laney announced she and Luke had agreed to switch places each evening – with “No Take Backs.”

I informed her she omitted one important consideration: This house is MY house, so any decision she and Luke purportedly made has no binding force without my approval. I did not approve. She slept with MeMaw and Luke slept up front on the couch opposite mine, as usual.

As the week drew to an end, we suddenly started dreading them leaving on Friday. We will miss them this week.

I guess we are much more fatigued than we thought.

Mike Parker is a columnist for Neuse News. You can reach him at mparker16@gmail.com.