Mike Parker: The sad fate of my electronic devices

I have always heard that great performers die in groups of three. Three singers/composers who immediately come to mind are Kenny Rogers, John Prine, and Bill Withers. All three were legendary talents who passed away in the past few weeks.

I did not know I would endure my own trio of “deaths” over a four-day period. First, my wireless router died, turning my home into a Wifi wasteland. Next, my longtime friend, an HP8600 Printer, began to send me multitudes of error messages. In the end, I had to pull the plug. Then my Samsung 58-inch smart HD TV went black and no amount of coaxing could bring it back to light.

Here I was – stuck at home as the coronavirus raged around me with no Wifi, no printer, and no TV. If I wanted to check the internet on my smart phone, I had to use data. At least, I still had data. I immediately ordered a new router from Amazon and then headed to Walmart on two separate occasions – once to purchase a new printer and again to purchase a new TV. Talk about an expensive weekend.

But I made an even more important discovery after I brought in my new TV and hooked it up: without Wifi, I could not get Hulu, Netflix, Disney+, ESPN+, YouTube, and the rest of the apps I use when 200-plus cable channels are simply not enough.

Once I got the printer home, I realized that I needed – you guess it – Wifi to print from my computer. The new printer entered my home on Sunday, and we welcomed the new TV on Monday. My Nighthawk router had not arrived. In fact, the device was not scheduled to get here until sometime Thursday.

Sometimes the Fates smile on me. My router arrived on Tuesday. Now all I had to do was install the router and then hook every new device to a new Wifi connection, complete with its distinctive password. Can you imagine how many times I had to type in my email address and then the specific password for each of the apps I use? Can you spell “aggravation” and “tedium”?

I was grateful the new TV worked flawlessly with my Tivo. After all, we had dozens of programs recorded to watch during this time when the basketball madness did not March. Since I am not a big fan of boxing and MMA, sports pickings were slim.

I had an even greater motivator than personal use for Wifi and TV. Every other week, Laney and Luke come to stay with us, their Papa and MeMaw, so Mom and Dad can work. I think these kids, like most of my “Young Gun” grandchildren, were born with a Wifi connection hardwired into their little brains.

With no TV and no Wifi, I would have to listen to unending recitations of “I’m bored,” complete with accompanying sighs of persecution. I could live without TV and Wifi – even though I did not want to do so. These kids – not so much. Because they were bored, they would have eaten us out of house and home.

Need Wifi – STAT!

But now Papa has everything installed and running. So if Laney wants to watch “Frozen 2,” then Disney+ is available. If Luke wants to watch cute pet videos, then YouTube is up and running. Once I sign their iPads into my new Wifi router, they will be happy beyond belief.

Before you ask: Yes, we do activities that do not involve electronics. We play cards and board games. They do about two hours of school work each day they are with us. They also color and draw.

Still, electronics give MeMaw and Papa a little break from providing constant attention – allowing us time to cook for them.

To my new electronic devices: Live Long and Prosper.

Mike Parker is a columnist for Neuse News. You can reach him at mparker16@gmail.com.