Mike Parker: Some considerations as we enter the New Year
As we come to the beginning of a new year, most of us give at least a little thought to making some New Year’s resolutions. I gave up on making New Year’s resolutions because I never could stick to most of them. Of course, one of my resolutions always was to lose weight. I read a recent article that said we should not make such a resolution because we will end up being unhappy, unsuccessful, or both.
But I firmly believe we could all profit from some specific resolutions that have nothing to do with body weight or body image.
First, create a “Gratitude Journal” and write down at least one thing each day for which you are thankful. The prevalence of complaining and the lack of gratitude always astounds me. As the Apostle Paul closes his first letter to the Thessalonians, he gives several pithy exhortations. One is, in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”
The Mayo Clinic published an article in December of 2022 titled “Can expressing gratitude improve your mental, physical health?” The article contends: “Expressing gratitude is associated with a host of mental and physical benefits. Studies have shown that feeling thankful can improve sleep, mood and immunity. Gratitude can decrease depression, anxiety, difficulties with chronic pain and risk of disease.” The authors then added: “If a pill that could do this, everyone would be taking it.”
Our brains are designed to recognize problems and work on solving them. We are not geared for appreciation – to see the good things. Think back to when your children were growing up. Did you ever notice that finding something to criticize was much easier than finding something to praise? If you doubt that point, then ask your kids.
The article goes on to say: “Simply stated, gratitude should be practiced daily – just as you’d take that magic pill if it existed. Try starting your day by thinking of someone you’re grateful for as soon as you wake up. It could be appreciating a friend who sends you funny texts, a teacher who recognizes your child’s gifts, or the barista who hands you your coffee and shares friendly conversation. Later, thank that person with a text, note or kind word when you see the person.”
Write down some of the best things that happen each day that brought you joy or contentment or a sense of well-being. Every now and then, read over what you have written. You may be surprised at how much good has happened in your life. Negative attitudes are like weeds – they spread and try to take over.
Another useful resolution is: “I will use what I say to lift people up – not tear them down.” Years ago, I loved to watch “Hee-Haw,” a television variety show featuring country music and humor set in the fictional rural “Kornfield Kounty.” The show aired from 1969 to 1993. Later it was on TNN from 1996 to 1997. You can sometimes catch reruns even now on Circle.
One segment of the show featured a sketch with four female cast members surrounding a washtub and clothes wringer singing the chorus: “Now, we’re not ones to go ‘round spreadin’ rumors, / Why, really we’re just not the gossipy kind, / No, you’ll never hear one of us repeating gossip, / So you’d better be sure and listen close the first time!”
I have always wondered why some people feel the need to spread rumors and gossip about others. Sometimes, the worst offenders are those who are supposed to be friends running the rumor-mill. I have never met a single person who complained that no one gossiped about him or her. I have known many whose lives were nearly destroyed by those spreading lies that purportedly was the truth.
Instead, focus on giving compliments. Don’t talk about someone – talk to someone. A compliment is an expression of regard, admiration, praise, or respect. Receiving a compliment feels great and some research shows getting a sincere compliment gives us the same positive boost as receiving cash. By looking to compliment another person, we are training ourselves to look for the good.
In Proverbs 12:18, we read: “There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.” Every day – and moment by moment – we must decide if we are going to use our words as a weapon or for healing.
Consider these two resolutions as you begin the New Year.
Be kind to each other.
Mike Parker is a columnist for the Neuse News. You can reach him at mparker16@gmail.com.
