Reece Gardner: Do you have any regrets?

Do you have any regrets? Are they about something you did, or about something someone did to you? Most of the presentations on this subject that I have heard in my Dale Carnegie Classes over the years, as I have mentioned previously, have come from people who felt they they had been the cause of another's hurt.

Here are a few examples: A man in a class in Wilson told about how he had neglected to express his appreciation to his mother for all the wonderful love and care that she had given him over the years. He said that there were so many occasions when just a hug or an "I love you" to her would have meant the world to her. He ended his presentation by looking up and, through his tears, saying, "Mama, I just hope that from your place in Heaven you can hear me and know that I do love and appreciate you more than words can tell.."

A class member in Goldsboro told about how his older brother had gotten into serious trouble and needed some love and understanding. He said that in a meeting with his brother he gave him just the opposite.. He told him how ashamed he was of him and that he knew that that he (his brother) had been guilty all along. He said, "I failed him just when he needed me most."

A participant in a Wilmington class told about receiving a call from his 17-year-old son who had been in an automobile wreck. He said that he would never understand why he didn't immediately inquire about his son's condition, and upon arriving on the scene why he didn't run to his son and console him. But he did neither and he would always regret that.

And then there was the Dad who told about arriving home one day and seeing his 8-year-old son's bike lying in the driveway. He went immediately to the backward where his son was playing with friends and loudly scolded him, saying, "Come here, Boy. Get that bike into the garage and go straight into the house. I will deal with you later.." He then said to the Class, "That's been 20 years ago and my relationship with my son has never been the same." He said that so many times he had wished that he had not humiliated his son in front of his friends, and had just said "Hello" to them and then gone into the house.

Then later in the evening he could have quietly talked with his son about the potential hazards of leaving his bike exposed. I hope that these examples - and there are many more - can help us strive to be kind and considerate in our dealings with others, particularly those who mean the most to us.

Now for a humorous close: At a motivational seminar three men were asked to come up on stage. They were asked, "When you are in your casket, and friends are coming by and paying their respects to you, what would you like to hear them say about you?' The first man said, "That I was a great doctor and family man." The second man said, "That I was a wonderful human being and a great teacher." Then the third man said that what he would like to hear them say was, "Look, he's moving!" Have a wonderful day!